the courage to slow down: reclaiming space in a fast-paced world
In a world that seems to reward speed, productivity, and constant availability, the idea of slowing down can feel countercultural or even indulgent. But in the therapy room, I often see how relentless busyness disconnects us from ourselves, from others, and from what truly matters.
Many of the people I work with come to therapy not because they lack drive or ambition, but because somewhere along the way, they’ve lost touch with who they are beneath the doing. They feel stretched thin, unable to rest, unsure of how to stop. They end up going through the motions, rather than truly feeling present.
busyness as a defence
There are often good reasons we stay busy. It can be a way of avoiding difficult feelings such as grief, loneliness, uncertainty. Keeping constantly occupied may feel safer than sitting with what we fear might emerge in the stillness.
But this can come at a cost. Without moments of pause, we lose the ability to reflect, to make conscious choices, or to truly connect. Our inner world becomes noisier, not quieter.
slowness as a radical act of self-respect
Choosing to slow down isn’t about laziness or giving up. It’s an act of self-respect and honouring our need to recharge. For emotional regulation to be sustainable, we need both the ‘drive’ system, that helps us strive and achieve, and the ‘soothe’ system, that allows us to rest, reflect, and feel safe. Many of us are stuck in ‘drive’, rarely accessing the calming, restorative ‘soothe’ state that brings balance. It’s important to listen to what our bodies, minds and hearts are telling us. It’s about making space to feel, to breathe, to be.
Therapy offers a rare kind of space: one that invites stillness, presence and curiosity. Often, it’s the first time someone has had a regular hour in their week that isn’t about doing or achieving. That simple act of sitting together, slowing down, and noticing can be deeply transformative.
Small beginnings
You don’t need to make dramatic life changes to begin slowing down. Here are a few gentle practices that I sometimes explore with clients:
start the day slowly: even five minutes without your phone, with a cup of tea and your breath, can create a different tone for the day.
notice your pace: walking, eating, speaking – where could you soften the rush?
schedule space: treat time for reflection, nature, rest or doing nothing as just as important as your other commitments. Schedule it into your Google calendar it that helps you make the commitment to yourself.
be curious about resistance: what feels uncomfortable about slowing down? Often, valuable insights live here.
a different kind of rhythm
Slowing down isn’t about stopping altogether. It’s about finding a more sustainable rhythm – one that includes pause as well as motion, rest as well as work, being as well as doing.
In my own life and in my work as a psychologist, I’ve found that slowness allows something essential to surface: self-awareness, insight, and sometimes even peace. In a world that rarely encourages these qualities, choosing to slow down can feel like an act of quiet courage.